Sports Hypnosis FTW
Minnesota Fats Need Not Apply
I’m hypnotizing a waitress tomorrow, the way I always do. Not really. I don’t always hypnotize waitresses. But I couldn’t resist starting with an homage to Warren Zevon’s Send, Lawyers, Guns and Money.
Truth be told, the song starts with “I went home with a waitress.” No mention of hypnosis. Shame. If anyone could write a killer tune about a hypnotized waitress it’s Warren Zevon.
Ain’t gonna happen. Like Minnesota Fats, Warren Zevon is no longer with us, felled by asbestos-related mesothelioma. A shitty way to go, and not what anyone who knew about the singer’s intemperate smoking, drinking and drugging habits expected.
Can hypnosis can cure addiction? It’s a question I’m training my alcoholic ex-wife to pursue. Meanwhile, rest assured the waitress in question is not an addict.
OK, maybe sorta. She’s a low-ranked part-time professional pool player who, in a legendary match, defeated the world’s number one.
You don’t get to that level of skill without addiction-level dedication to the game. Or, for that matter, a lack of hypnotizability.
The Trance Dance
Pro pool players achieve excellence via trance: the intense indeed singular level of focus often called “being in the zone.”
They lose self-consciousness, focus deeply and completely on what they’re doing (to the complete exclusion of everything else) and perform at their highest possible level.
The same’s true for any professional athlete in any sport, as any sports psychologist worth his salt will tell you.
Muscle Memory My Ass
Sports-specific head-shrinkers call this extreme mental focus “the flow state.” And focus their work on helping an athlete train their “muscle memory.”
Puh-lease! The proper name for a focused mental state is “trance” and muscles don’t have a brain.
If a baseball player is performing in an extremely relaxed but focused state experiencing time distortion (time moving faster or slower than normal), they’re in a trance.
As they play, the baseballer’s eyes, arms, legs and hands don’t “think” about catching a ball. Their subconscious mind reacts to their need and ability to move, catch, hit or throw and makes it so. Without conscious thought.
To improve or recapture previous performance, an athlete must “re-program” their subconscious mind. Yes, well…
Good Luck With That
At the beginning of their sports career, a budding professional athlete had the time and solitude to practice, practice, practice – to the point where their conscious mind switched off.
When that happened, in a naturally occuring trance state, they were able to create winning subconscious stimulus - response patterns. Habits. Muscle memory. Whatever.
They also learned to rely on their ability to enter trance during competition. To “get out of the way” mentally. Surrender to their subconscious stimulus - response patterns and “go with the flow.”
Until and unless… they can’t. For a whole host of reasons. Reasons sports psychologists love to talk about.
While all “mental coaches” use hypnosis in one form of another, the majority operate under the assumption that athletes must confront the conscious thoughts impeding or impairing their ability to maximize performance.
It’s fascinating, deeply personal stuff – and completely irrelevant. A skilled hypnotist can remove intrusive, zone-killing thoughts with the snap of a finger. Forever. And program the athlete to automatically enter “the flow state” every time they compete.
Two Major Variables
For sports hypnosis, there are two mission critical variables: the hypnotist’s skill and the athlete’s [genetically-determined] level of hypnotizability.
Every pro athlete I’ve worked with in the U.K.– be they a race car driver, golfer or footballer – was deeply hypnotic. Contemplating my session with the aspiring professional pool player, confidence is high.
I’ve got another reason to be optimistic: kismet.
I met a guy. Back in the day, he was the sports sponsorship guy; cutting deals with every major college and professional team extent. Signing legendary athletes to multi-year contracts.
After discussing the practical, financial and disruptive possibilities of hypnotizing professional athletes, I convinced him – and myself – to come out of retirement.
I reckon we make an excellent team. He’s a hugely intelligent, perfectly personable person with a wicked sense of humor and a Rolodex worth its weight in gold. Things are already brewing…
The weird thing: I met my guy at a cigar bar just a few days before the waitress served me two eggs over medium, crispy bacon and dry wheat toast. And revealed her billiard-shaped aspirations.
Is the universe trying to tell me something, inspired by my accountant’s prayers? Will this sports hypnosis endeavor subsidize my writing and motorcycling aspirations?
Until then, I’m just an excitable boy. Again. Still.
About time you got back into the game!
Great stuff, thanks! The first celebrity hypnotist that comes to mind is Scott Adams of Dilbert fame. Check out his daily live-feed on Locals, 10:00 am Eastern, seven days a week.