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Robert Farago's avatar

Rearranged this post a bit after pressing play. As always, use the Substack app or go to www.thetruthabouteverything.com to see the final, typo free (!) version of a post. I'd feel better if you did, but that's my issue.

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Narcoossee's avatar

This topic has been in the news quite a bit lately. One perspective was that they (the apps) want to keep the subscribers engaged, and wanting more, and be willing to subscribe to additional services to improve their chances. I guess a bit like the Scientologists, from a business perspective?

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Robert Farago's avatar

10-4. The dating apps truly want the undesirables to find success on the app - their survival depends on it.

Look for the apps to morph into something that guides the dispossessed to self-improvement, at the same time as they "re-package" their profiles.

Meanwhile, even the popular males an females are getting fed-up with dating apps, as they discover that too much choice leads to... casual sex.

The current trend is towards finding dates on non-dating apps: sub-Reddits and other sites with common interests. I call it the Furry-cation protocol. But that's me.

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Narcoossee's avatar

Yes, but only after extracting maximum $$ out of the marks. Success shouldn't come too quickly. :-)

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Robert Farago's avatar

Cynicism for the win!

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Drunkonunleaded's avatar

I'll bite on this one as I have used dating apps (mostly Tinder) for the better part of a decade. In fact, I found my soon to be fiancé via Hinge.

From a purely business standpoint, I see why they're going this way. If the majority of users are getting zero matches, they may be discouraged to use the app. In theory, leveling the playing field so to speak may increase a person's odds and therefore drive engagement.

Odds really are the name of the game in online dating. In 2021, I decided to look for something more serious and basically treated "dating" as a second job. By that I mean that I used multiple apps (Hinge, Bumble, Tinder), used them regularly, and avoided anyone who I wouldn't want to be involved with for the long haul.

By my estimates, I probably swiped right (or the equivalent of) on thousands of women over the course of a year. I matched with a few hundred of them. That resulted in about 30 first dates. Of those 30, five girls got a second date. Three had a third date. The one that got a fourth is the one that I will marry.

No amount of AI is going to change the above. To Hinge's credit, they limit the amount of "likes" you can give to 10 per day. This kept things pretty manageable. More importantly, the quality of the dating pool there was so high that I quickly dropped all of the other two apps after a month or so.

Hinge AI to craft user profiles will have negative effects on the quality of users (or at least matches). As you mentioned, people will be matching with what is effectively an AI caricature of a person and not the person themselves. This will assuredly lead to further frustration for anyone taking things seriously. For those who value their time, bad matches are worse than no match at all.

Selfishly, I feel it's foolish to kneecap those who have the ability to craft s quality profile. I should mention that Hinge differs from other apps in that they provide users number of prompts in lieu of a generic "text box" profile. Many of my matches commented that they were attracted to what I had written, and several used these prompts as a pretext for messaging me directly. Having quality photos certainly helps, but it's difficult to show one's personality through visuals alone.

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Robert Farago's avatar

Congratulations! I've met a number of people who've found their partner through dating apps. But I think their day is done (the apps, that is). An opinion shared and informed by the people who've abandoned dating apps, of whom I know many.

You put in the work required to make Hinge work. While the reproductive urge is extremely strong, VERY few people would go on 30 dates to find The One (never mind go through thousands of profiles, never mind reach out to thousands). To paraphrase the dying replicant in Blade Runner, oh the stories you could tell! The red flags you've seen!

Everything either grows or dies. And when something dies, it creates space for something else. Watch this space.

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Drunkonunleaded's avatar

The world will be better off when dating apps and swipe culture are officially done and over. No matter how you slice it, these apps and their consequences have been a disaster for the human race. It is my hope that future generations return us to the pre-Tinder dating market where people relied upon in-person meeting and social connections to find a mate.

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Robert Farago's avatar

I don’t think it ever will. At best we’re looking at a hybrid. And the human race? We always seems to find a way forward.

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yossarian's avatar

i think the problem is that a success in the dating business means the customer doesn't need the service anymore. unless the goal is just hookups, and not a long-term monogamous relationship, there's no room for longtime subscribers.

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Robert Farago's avatar

I’m sure they’ve got stats on all that. As most relationships - including marriage - don’t last, I imagine repeat customers are a big part.

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Chris P's avatar

Sounds ripe for a discrimination lawsuit when the algorithm only shows you short, overweight, or [whisper it] ugly people because that's where it thinks you have the best odds. It may be true, of course, as that's basically how it works in nature. But now there's an actual entity, with traceability and a bank account, for why you end up with all old maids.

At least it'll give the AI trainers in India a nice break from all the violence and child porn they have to see every day.

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Robert Farago's avatar

Wow! What a great idea! Maybe even for a novel...

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